


Lua

by hystericalzombie



Series: Soundtrack to our lives [2]
Category: Hat Films - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Lua - Bright Eyes, M/M, Songifc, depressed behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 01:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4647087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hystericalzombie/pseuds/hystericalzombie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ross worries about Alex. Set a few days after No Surprises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lua

**Author's Note:**

> this was a hard one. it seems i can’t write fluff without turning it horribly angsty halfway though :/ based off of Lua by Bright Eyes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSBs-hiapo4)

Ross leans back in his chair and sighs. It’s been a few days since he and Alex got back together, and he was finding Alex to be different from before their big break-up. They were currently at work, and with the clock ticking towards 9 pm, Ross decides to take him home. 

 

He stands and stretches after having been sitting for too long, then makes his way to Alex’s partition. He peeks around the corner and sees the brunet focusing on the video he was editing.

 

“Hey. Wanna go home, mate? You look exhausted.” Ross comes around behind Alex and loops his arms around his shoulders. “Hmm? Oh, I need to finish this video, so I can’t. Sorry.” He answers, carrying on his editing.

 

“Alex, you can finish it later, it’s almost 9. C’mon, we’ll get takeaway and watch shitty tv. Please?” Ross cocks his head to look at him properly. The taller man glances at him, and Ross gives him a small smile. Alex looks back at his work, before saving it and shutting down his computer. The dark haired man presses a kiss to his temple before going to collect his things, and he can’t help but worry about his boyfriend. 

 

Trott had told him a couple of months ago that Alex had a lot of shit on his plate and he wasn’t dealing with it in the best way. And noticing how distant he was now as well, makes what Trott said sound more true.

 

“Ready?” Alex asks, coat on, watching Ross with a strange expression. “Hm? Yeah, let’s go.” He says, and they make their way out of the building.

 

\------

 

The walk to Alex’s apartment was a quiet one, no matter how much coaxing Ross tried. The worry that had been gnawing at him earlier was growing with every minute of Alex being quiet and distant, and by the time Alex was opening the door to his apartment Ross was ready just to lock him in there and keep him safe.

 

“Just dump your things anywhere. I’ll go order some chinese food.” Alex says over his shoulder as he walks into the kitchen. Ross’ face twists with worry for a split second before he hangs his coat up and goes to stand in the kitchen doorway. As the brunet orders their dinner, Ross can’t help but watch him. He’s standing with his back to the dark haired man, leaning against the counter, slightly hunched over speaking into the phone. Ross can’t help but notice the lines of his back through his shirt, the way his jeans were hugging his hips. And before he knew what he was doing, he had come up behind Alex and was hugging him to his chest, chin resting on his shoulder.

 

Alex jumps slightly and turns to look at him, and Ross gives him a little kiss on his cheek. He flushes slightly and finishes up the call, before turning around in his arms and giving him a hug.

 

“You okay?” Ross whispers into his partner’s ear, and Alex nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

Ross gives him a squeeze, before loosening his arms but still holding him to look at the brunet properly. “You sure?” he asks, looking into his eyes. He notices that they have a strange soft look, almost like he was sad about something. Alex just nods again, and Ross feels that pang of worry again.

 

Ross leans forward and places a soft kiss on Alex’s lips, and he feels him tense slightly. Then he relaxes, and kisses him back, cupping his face with his hands and being oh so gentle. Ross doesn’t try to push him, and tugs him gently closer. He goes with it, his arms circling around his neck while Ross’ wrap around his waist.

 

Ross isn’t aware of how long they have been like that until the buzzer for the front door goes off and they both jump. They grin sheepishly at each other and Alex goes to answer the doorbell. Ross watches him leave the room with a small half smile on his face. Despite their little makeout session, Ross still feels worry fluttering in his stomach. He frowns to himself, then heads to the lounge and shakes his head clear.

 

\------

 

Empty chinese takeaway tubs litter the coffee table in front of the two men a couple hours later, Alex curled into Ross’ side, arms around each other, watching some weird soap opera Ross thinks. Ross can feel Alex’s slow breathing, and he peeks at him to see him with lidded eyes, almost on the brink of sleep. “Hey. Alex? C’mon mate, time for bed.” 

 

Alex shifts closer and groans. He mumbles something that Ross doesn’t really catch, but he can pretty much assume anyway. “C’mon. If you don’t move I will carry you.” Ross tries to sit up but doesn’t manage it at all because of Alex acting like a limpet on his side. “I’m being serious, I will do it.” Still Alex doesn’t move. Ross sighs, and he hooks his arm under Alex’s knees and with his other arm wrapped around his back lifts him up.

 

Alex lets out a surprised yelp when he’s suddenly lifted into the air, and he flails before getting his arm around the back of Ross’ neck. Ross laughs and carries him to the bedroom, while Alex clings on with his cheeks scarlet. Once the dark haired man dumps Alex unceremoniously onto the bed he’s immediately sitting upright, fuming at him, and that just makes Ross laugh harder.

 

Alex begins to protest but is interrupted by a yawn, and Ross doesn’t even want to look at his clock. “C’mon mate. Bed.” Ross says, as he begins to take off his jeans. Alex nods sleepily, and Ross can’t help himself to find him absolutely adorable. Alex fumbles with the button on his jeans, before pushing them down and off his legs. Ross tugs his shirt off and pulls the covers back. Alex crawls up to the pillows and Ross slips in behind him.

 

Alex moves so that they are facing each other, and curls up close. Ross notes his tired eyes, his features going softer as sleep quickly approaches, and he falls in love with him all over again.

 

“You okay?” He asks, and the brunet nods sleepily before curling up even closer to him, and drifts off. Ross sighs and tugs the blanket closer to them, and sleeps.

 

\------

 

Ross opens his eyes and sees sunlight slipping through the blinds the next morning. He looks at Alex and sees his friend breathing deep and slow, curled up small in his arms, the sun catching the red highlights in his hair, and sighs. _Why did I think it would be good to split?_ he wonders. He peeks at the clock over his shoulder on the drawer, and decides to make tea to wake Alex up with. _That might cheer him up,_ he thinks to himself as he presses a gentle kiss to Alex’s forehead, before slipping out of bed and making his way to the kitchen. 

 

He fills up the kettle after finding their mugs, and wanders through to the living room while he waits for the water to boil. Its at that point he notices a picture frame, lying on its front on a little side table. Ross’ curiosity peaks as he looks at it carefully. He notes that it looked like it hadn’t been moved for a long time, judging by the dust. He glances back towards the bedroom, and picks up the picture to look at it.

 

Its a picture of the two of them, taken by Trott when they all went to watch a movie. He remembers the way that they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other, and the others making puking noises everytime they got caught being ‘cute’. But his heart shatters when he sees what Alex had done to the picture.

 

All over Alex’s face was horrible words, like _idiot_ , and _ugly_ , awful, awful words that make Ross reel in shock. _Was this what Trott was on about? How did I never see it?_ he wonders in horror.

 

“Ross?” He looks up and he sees Alex’s eyes widening as he spots the picture in Ross’ hand. 

 

“Alex-” he starts but Alex runs away to the bedroom, Ross right behind him. Alex tries to shut the door after himself but Ross catches it and pushes it open, and pulls Alex into his arms. And all the pain, the hurt inside of Alex bursts out and he sobs, huge, heart wrenching sobs, and all Ross can do is hold him, let him work through it. They both are crouched on the floor, after the force of Alex’s tears brings him to his knees and Ross follows. After a while, Ross can make out the brunet whispering “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”, and Ross’ heart breaks as he murmurs soft, comforting words.

 

It feels like hours before Alex’s tears run dry, and he’s left hiccuping and trembling in Ross’ arms. Ross leads him to sit on the edge of the bed, and perches beside him. Alex clings to him, still whispering ‘sorry’, burying his face in Ross’ chest. The dark haired man strokes his hair, calming him down with nonsense words. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Alex mumbles into Ross’ tshirt.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You hear me? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I was the blind one, not you.” Ross feels a lump in his throat and tugs Alex closer. “Not you.” he whispers into his hair, pressing a kiss there.

 

“I love you. And I’m sorry for it.” Alex clings tighter, not wanting to see Ross’ face after his admission. “I know I should be better. I shouldn’t have this thing, this problem. It’s tearing me apart, but I can’t stop loving you. And I don’t want to drag you down with me. I’m scared that that’s what I’m doing, and you shouldn’t get stuck with me. You should be somewhere in the light, not in this hole I’ve made for myself. I’m so scared, and I’m so, so sorry.” Alex keeps his head bowed, speaking into his shirt, avoiding looking at Ross.

 

Ross looks down, and tugs Alex up to see his face. His brilliant blue eyes are red from crying, with tear tracks down his face. It’s only then that Ross realises that he himself is crying too. “You are not dragging me down. You are not a problem. You definitely don’t have to be sorry for loving me. I love you. Okay? I love you. And I’m the idiot who didn’t realise it till it was over. You don’t have to be alone, anymore. Okay? Because I’m not gonna leave. Okay?” 

 

Alex nods before pulling Ross into a hug, arms around his neck, clinging tightly. Ross murmurs ‘i love you’ into Alex’s shoulder and, oddly enough, he feels a weight lift from his chest. 

 

Alex pulls away after a moment, and Ross makes a small motion towards the pillows. The brunet nods, and they both curl up under the sheets, facing each other, pressed as close as they can while still being able to see the other. Ross presses a loving kiss to Alex’s forehead, and whispers, “I love you.”

 

Alex kisses him back on the lips, and mumbles, “I love you too.”

 


End file.
